Simple method to force an individual to select your option

This is known as the assertive ultimatum

PS. Please note that I'm not encouraging you to manipulate others. I'm just giving you the tools to accomplish what you want.

I am not responsible for the way you use the information below.
There is a point in certain conversations that you feel you have to give up all choices to your partner.

Particularly, if your opinions about the best strategy aren't in line.

You can be working or in your relationship, or working with your colleagues, or maybe working on a project you've created.
You'll find yourself in situations where those around you have a different opinion that differs from yours.

A frequent and recurring method of bribing people to change their position is through using ultimatums.
Let me present two examples that are completely opposite. Then break them down, which is better and the reason for it.

1. "We do that, or we'll be wiped out."

2. "Do you wish to see this happen?"

The first one is more an expression of fear and seems like an imminent threat.

This is the way most people plan their ultimatums.

It's not the way you would want to talk or do (most of the times)
Here's the reason:

Using fear triggers two reactions:

Fighting or flying.

With this type of ultimatum, it leaves the choice up to your counterpart. They'll either react defensively or surrender.

The problem is: Once you're at this point of discussion, there are more chances that they will fight on rather than give up.
They've been doing it before, defending their position and inflicting fear on them will cause them becoming aggressive and make them more emotionally, and sometimes angered.

It's a flims ultimatum.

It could create more conflicts that are unnecessary and unneeded, rather than resolving existing issues.
For Number 2:

The wording is written in a way to suggest the responsibility.

It provides you with an advantage by giving your counterpart the opportunity to show that you share the same goals to achieve.
This also suggests that the approach they're proposing isn't likely to bring you both to your desired outcome.

It's a blame-game technique. It is a method of focusing on the person's compassion, not fear.

You're placing the blame on them, while you're on their shoulders.
That's the way ultimatums should sound.

It's almost similar to:

It's not like I'm leaving you with no choice, but your words aren't exactly what we'd like to hear.

An easy way to convince them they're right, a quick method to create doubt in their minds.
Do not let your ultimatums become threats.

Be sure that your ultimatums don't confuse you and only answered with a yes.

Breaking the pattern of conflict and allowing your partner to be a part of your conversation (no matter how insignificant it is)
you can get the conversation moving in a different direction.
The opposite direction, in which there is an assumption that you are seeking the same outcomes.

This is how you can defuse a differing opinion.


That's how you engage your friend's emotions without frightening them.

Thank you for reading.